Sunday, April 24, 2011

Hungry? Why wait…

Alright, I make it to the headquarters the next morning with no assistance necessary from James, therefore getting there on time. They send me off with the girl that helped me make my bank account the day before, who is a few years younger than me and her name is Chi Heh, meaning wisdom. (That’s not how they spell it in Korean Romanization, but that’s how it sounds). She takes me to the hospital, which is the same one I can see out my back window, and I get my obligatory check-up. I had to get my eyes checked, my hearing checked, my lungs checked, blood and other body fluids checked, and of course they checked my weight and height :) That was actually interesting because the scale I stood on had a machine that comes straight down and whacks you on the top of the head to see how tall you are, which, of course, I wasn’t expecting so I bent over when it hit me, and they had to do it again since it didn’t get an accurate reading . I still don’t think it got an accurate reading. How tall would you stand knowing you’re gonna get hit on the top of the head? It wasn’t a love tap, I assure you. So I complete my tests, then finish up by answering a few questions from the doctor who was the epitome of an Asian physician in my mind’s eye, and honestly, I couldn’t have asked for more: unkempt, long, black comb-over that did nothing to hide the balding in the back, glasses, chubby enough that his striped collar and plaid tie were a little too tight under that white lab coat, totally uncomfortable (and a little sweaty) trying to speak his broken English to sign me off in effort to assure the public that that they were not in jeopardy or any immediate peril by my coming. It was perfect! I swear he didn’t ask me the right questions though, and he totally didn’t understand my responses. Oh well, whatever gets me through the door, right? Honestly, I don’t know why I had to do the health check. Everyone else should do it. I was healthy when I came here and Korea made me sick. Yeah, I’m pretty sure I’m allergic to Korea. Just South Korea, though…haven’t tried out North Korea yet, kk,kk. Anyway, I past my interview with flying colors and was allowed to leave. But, before I left, the nurse gave me and my new friend each a juice box. How thoughtful, since I haven’t eating and they took all my blood. Anyway, as we walked back to the headquarters, I look at this juice box, and I’m a little worried because it has bananas on it…not typically my first choice when choosing a drink. Honestly, I didn’t know bananas could be juiced, which, in this case, they weren’t. “Oh, it’s not banana, it’s bean milk.” “….Uh, bean milk? Do you mean soy milk?” “No, not soy, it’s different.” Hmmm, ok, well, I had already decided that on this new adventure I’d try anything once. So, I popped in the straw and Holy. Crap. Warm, banana flavored bean milk. Blugh! Let’s just say I was starving to death and I still wouldn’t finish it. Oh, but this wasn’t just me. She didn’t like it either, and she’s Korean. So, somebody definitely screwed up down at the banana bean plant. 
So we made it back to the headquarters, and then things got humorous.  All the sudden the office area we were in was swarmed by Korean high school boys. Ah, yes, my new students.   They were freaking out about my eyes and my skin and pretty much everything.   First thing they ask me “Married?.. Boyfriend?..” like it would matter either way.   “Single?..Children?...”  Ok, sad that they have to ask if I have kids even though I’m single.   They all are saying things, and of course, I can’t understand, but they are holding their fists up, like that should mean something to me.  I’m totally confused, so Chi Heh says “they say you are beautiful because you have small head”.   Uh, come again?  First of all, my head is not the size of their fists.  It may be small, but that is grossly over exaggerated.   I’m still not sure if I should be flattered, or slightly offended.  Well, I decided to pull out my family photos to kinda let them see what my family looks like, and that was a big hit.  They couldn’t believe Mike was their age.  They totally freaked out when they saw a picture of Rachel, haha.  “Beautiful!  Beautiful!  Single?”  I tried to explain to them that it didn’t matter how old or beautiful she was, she would still never date any of them since she was taller than every single one of them.  However, having a beautiful sister could give them incentive to learn English.  I mean, how would they ever be able to talk to her if they didn’t learn some English first?  So, after the pictures some of the kids were saying things like he looks like Brad Pitt and he looks like Macaulay Culkin, and I’m thinkin’ they are totally crazy.  Then they ask me (in Korean and my friend translated) who is more attractive, Korean guys or American guys…I opted not to answer.  No need to start offending people before I even got over my jet lag.  Anyway, to make a long story less long, they had me do some silly things here and there, and finally it was time for me to just go since I really had nothing more to do that day.    Seriously so sweet.  Anyway, she takes me back to the Lottemart and we go all the way down into the basement level and that’s where the grocery store is.  I’m like, what the heck!?  How would I have ever found this on my own?  So she helped explain a couple things and I left with some milk, a box of cereal, loaf of white bread, box of cookies and a bunch of about 20 bananas…seriously the biggest bunch of banana’s I’ve ever seen.   Probably the most banana’s I’ve ever eaten in one day too.  I took a pic of the banans, so maybe I’ll get that up some time.  Still gotta figure out all this blog stuff while it’s written in Korean.  Anyway, that’s all I’m writing for that day.  Sorry I haven’t been a more faithful blogger.  I’ll start hitting highlights pretty soon.  So much to write, so little time. Don’t hate.


  1. Mike and I laughed our guts out. Thanks for sharing. Loved it

  2. This is such an inspirational story to share...

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